During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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