i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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