Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
