So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
