This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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