Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
