jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
