Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize