If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
