im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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