Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
do nipples grow back?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
