That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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