I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
