i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
