I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
