Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
