youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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