Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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