It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize