dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
