she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
