this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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