i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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