I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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