he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
