Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
