my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
