you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
