His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
