i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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