"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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