she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
