fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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