If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
