hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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