if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize