The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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