Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
