i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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