Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
