never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
