please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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