you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
