I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
