Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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