I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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