Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wear drunk well.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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