Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
