Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
