Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
