so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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