I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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