Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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