I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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