She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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