Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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