Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
