I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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