I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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